july

It's ridiculous how I've grown.
Looking back I see red flags and a girl so insecure it hurts.
Seabrook to Flip Flop. I started hurting myself at Flip Flop. I would try to do a basic tumbling pass and fail. Then I would scratch my ankle raw. I should write that story more eloquently but I just remember failing, sitting and scratching.
I was 12.
I'm honestly don't remember much from this time. I was so insecure. I weighed MAYBE 100lbs but hated my body.

I want to go back. I want to do it better.

friends and life

Not gonna lie...Cory is my best friend. I tell him everything and I trust him. I love just being with him. But I miss girls. Especially Erin and Ellen. I'm not really ready to start hanging out, but I know that when I am they will make time for me.
It is hard to be friends as an adult. And as an adult that is mentally interesting it is even harder.

I wish I had an off switch. I need my emotions to go away. I need to be an adult. I can't go around punching things whenever I get overwhelmed.

I am pulled in two directions...
1. Be an adult and get your shit together.
2. Be kind to yourself and work through it.

I don't know. Tomorrow is a new day. Hopefully I won't have to take a shower.

6/2/20 dispatch

mcdonalds broken windows

fireworks 10:17

large group headed towards broadway bridge to nlr

60+ to sculpture garden

10:22 jumping off the bridge into la harp/doubletree area

We can push this crowd back over the bridge to nlr "we can squeeze them and make arrests"

10:25 fireworks and rocks behind bank of america

approx 50 suspects behind double tree
6 arrested

they gonna be trapped between dt and french (?) street

10:31 la harpe 15 in custody

live broadcasting tv reporter, "get her to safety"

40 ppl headed toward 7th 10:36

"are there any units that don't have a prisoner in custody"

they have bats or axe handles

drone them(??!?)  are the filtering out or going somewhere else?

they don't know if they are supposed to block west bound traffic on markham

transport diverted

no female transportation

forest and pulaski, markham and conway

 who is this and what's your 20?"

they came fom siloam, westfork, and springdale

protesters hiding in the bushes

over a hundred in custody at this time 11:13

they've been going around every group and asking the officers to kneel

state and capitol theres 3 of them

gimme a 21 when you get a chance

2 beligerent groups
just wanted to make it ok

ease the uniforms off the croud a little bit

lessen all the police presenct in the crowd
i don't know we are surrounded

we are clear at this pointbut they're following us out

golf clubs

thank yous

they're following us to the corner they wob

Felicia

Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.
Seriously, FUCK YOU.
Emotional manipulative bitch.



LIES LIES LIES

Princess. Delusional.