Wednesday, December 31, 2008


Last year I spent New Years Eve at Rachel's. There was dancing, game playing, and lip-syncing. I cuddled with a giant M&M. I made it home sometime around 2am after a nap on Rachel's futon.

This year I spent my holiday alone, alternating between sleep, tv, ebay, and painting.
I could have gone out, I had a few options actually.
Whats wrong with me?

Do I withdraw because I'm not feeling good*, or am I not feeling like this because I habitually withdraw?

I skipped every Christmas party I was invited to (except my small group's). I get the mass-text invites to stuff but I never go. My mom has been talking about meeting me for dinner sometime soon, but honestly, I don't even want to do that. I haven't been to church in...?

How much of this can I blame on introversion? Laziness? Fear?

*by "good" I mean normal...happy...hope-filled...

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