Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Plates break.

We believe in hope and help, that these things are real and possible. You weren't meant to live alone with your pain. You weren't meant to stay in the broken place.
-Jamie Tworkowski

My first reaction to those words is agreement. I kinda get that warm fuzzy feeling after reading that, which is nice, but there's still a gap between these words and reality.

Healing is real, but so is responsibility.
Reality means that healing must occur simultaneously as life. So while the medicines are fighting it out in my body and I'm adjusting to side effects and swallowing pills, I've still got to pay rent. I've got to do something about the hospital bills and collection letters that keep coming. I've got to be a good friend, daughter, employee, and neighbor.

There are all these plates that I've got to keep spinning, all the while doing mental and emotional acrobatics, trying not to fall on my face again.

And, I'm just getting started. I've got to add more plates, I've got to pick it up in all the areas I've been slacking.

Tomorrow: interview. I'm a mess about this.

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