Monday, August 11, 2008

In the middle of my chaos...

I want someone to know that when I listen to Yo-Yo Ma really loudly that I'm trying to shut out the world because I'm frustrated by everything.

I want someone to realize that I'm serious when I say I had a breakdown.

I want someone to know that the "dark thoughts" I refer to include the scary 's' word, and that they come at least once a day.

I want someone to understand that when I say I can't handle life, I'm really struggling to keep my head above water.

I want someone to know that I didn't spend all day in bed because I'm lazy, but because I'm depressed and hiding from life.

I want someone who doesn't expect me to be sad all the time just because I'm depressed, and who doesn't dismiss the depression just because they don't see it.

I want someone to take me seriously, because when you don't I start to question myself and am bombarded by guilt and lies.

I want someone to make it make sense, because I'm confused and terrified right now.

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