Wednesday, October 29, 2008


Here's an idea. . . drive to a park, pull out a journal, turn on Mark Shultz He Will Carry Me. . . and write.

Page after angry page.

Mostly questions...still unanswered.

There's the obvious question of "why?"
But after that echoes into empty silence, then come the "how?"

How do I keep going?

How do I speak about the goodness of God while my own live shows no trace?

How do I explain to my family and friends? And how do I accept it when they can't understand?

How do I praise God and still accept how much anger I have toward my Creator?

How do I speak of hope to others while constantly feeling doomed?

How do I learn to feel sorrow over tragic stories, instead of envy?

And sometimes, how in the world do I stop crying and live despite the pain and uncertainty?

I've got new (old) meds. . . going back to the last thing that worked.

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