Monday, May 5, 2008

Bob, Yanni, and eggs

How do you handle stress?
I need lessons.

Ignoring it doesn't work. When I employ the "just keep going" philosophy I tend to lose consciousness.
My other quick-and-easy coping method. . . well, its generally not considered "healthy" or "acceptable." Although, during the past few months I've forgotten why.

I miss Bob.

Maybe I should try sand in the base of my bag rather than water. I don't use it much because I'm afraid the noise would disturb the boys downstairs. Sometimes, though, you just gotta hit something. . .

I'm calmest when I'm painting, I can block out all the junk and just be. But, I don't think my boss would appreciate me taking random paint-breaks during the day.

(listening to Yanni helps a little)

So maybe I just need some preventative maintenance. I think I live like I bike. I try to plan and prepare, but that takes too much time, so eventually I just grab my bike and go. But then I've wasted all that time and all I have to show are unfinished plans. So not only am I late, I'm also usually ill-equipped. (Who rides without water??? Really. . .)

Frustration hits hardest when I can't seem to get my junk together enough to do anything for someone else. I spend so much time trying to keep my head above water that when someone near me is drowning, my arms are too tired to pull them up.


Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

The haunting feeling that I'm failing life or the continuous fight to get it together?

Fear of failure paralyzes the kingdom.

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