Wednesday, May 7, 2008

This is Home

This is an amazing song.

I've got my memories They're always inside of me But I can't go back Back to how it was
I believe now I've come too far No I can't go back Back to how it was
Created for a place I'll never know
This is homeNow I'm finding where I belong Where I belongYeah this is homeI've been searching for a place of my ownNow I've found itMaybe this is homeYeah this is home
Belief over misery I've seen the enemy And I won't go back Back to how it was
And I got my heart set on what happens next I got my eyes wide It's not over yet We're miracles And we're not alone
And now, after all my searching After all my questions I'm going to call it home I got a brand new mindset I can finally see the sunset I'm going to call it home Oh
Now I know This is home
I've come too far And I won't go back Yeah, this is home

These words are huge to me. I love reading through old journals and seeing how my life has changed, and I'm always struck by God's faithfulness. The craziness of live seems to increase and build upon itself, each year outdoing the previous, but despite it all He is constant.

I'm so full of questions right now, and in searching for answers I only seem to produce more questions. But its good. In the middle of the messes and uncertainty about who I am, I've found home. This is my life, this is my journey, this is my home. . . I belong to Him.

"Belief over misery"
This has been a major theme for me over the past year or so. The foundation for my faith cannot be my circumstances. Life hurts sometimes, but like John Waller says, "You and I choose to believe."

I got my heart set on what happens next I got my eyes wide It's not over yet"
I struggle with being overwhelmed by the present. Even tonight, as I saw my gas gauge sink below the empty mark and wondered what I was going to do since I'm currently wallet-less and most gas stations don't take checks (not around my ghetto at least). Then I began to think about the growing pile of paper on my desk and all the junk at work lately, and also about payday being a week away and wondering if I'm going to make it. . . But then I found a box of macaroni in my kitchen, which I took as a reminder of God's gracious provision (I had resigned myself to eating oatmeal, so this was a very exciting discovery. It was shapes too!)

Side note: Song writers are some of the people I admire most. To create something that speaks so deeply to the soul of so many people is a phenomenal ability. Music itself is one of life's most precious yet overlooked blessings, but that's a post for another day my friends.

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