Thursday, November 27, 2008

7 minutes left...

I'm thankful for:

  • My family. My parents have been seriously amazing through all the junk thats happened over the past several months. They've supported me without question, even when I make crazy decision like going to hospitals in Texas and quitting my job. They've been my financial bailout. They bite their tongue and listening to me cry without offering a million suggestions to fix it (which is huge).
  • Progress. I'm still a mess, but its hard for me to believe how much has changed in the past two months, even the past two weeks. Tonight I realized that I'm finally doing better now than I was before going to the hospital. I painted Sunday. I'm reading again. I'm no longer overwhelmed with the desire to end it. The anxiety is becoming more manageable.
  • My job. Its frustrating and humbling to work a low-paying retail job despite having a (very expensive) college degree, but I don't think one can ever learn enough about humility.
  • A warm apartment and comfortable bed to sleep in. I'm a huge wimp when its cold outside, but my temporary discomfort makes me think about how many people in my own city don't have a home or a warm place to sleep. It breaks my heart, it challenges me, it reminds me that it is by His grace that I am where I am.
  • Community. I'm learning so much from these people about real community and how to live love.
  • The peace that makes no sense and can only come from the Spirit.
There's much, much more, but I've got to at least try to sleep since I'm working nine and a half hours tomorrow. Why is it so much easier to write after midnight?

Final thoughts, from Jamie Tworkowski:
Maybe Thanksgiving is a chance to remember that which is true, and to say it in the face of the lies. i think it's important to remember that the story isn't over, that there are things worth fighting for and living for, that beauty still happens and love still happens. Hope and redemption as well.

1 comment:

  1. You are blessed to have a good family to support you, and also to experience progress. Which is the symbolization of you becoming a strong and purer self (when on that Moral path that Christ has laid out for you).

    I would like to say that I'm thankful for having a roof over my head. But everytime I think that, I also think "Well, what does the homeless person say? I guess, since they don't have that, they have nothing to be grateful to God for?" No, I don't think this is the case. Perhaps they are thankful for life itself and the strength to keep Christ's words close to their heart. So, that is what I can truly be thankful for, because that will be true whether I'm homeless or not, whether my parents have passed away or not.

    As far as the job goes, I'm also working in retail, with stupid people (as you've read on my blog), also after getting a costly degree, and I think, it's not such a humble act for me. Perhaps if I was participating in something progressive (attending to the poor somehow, perhaps something environmental or a movement for social justice), then it'd be humble. But I work for some greedy money-obsessed cow. This is stale, but I do need to pay bills. Eh.

    I hope the community you're in continues to help you grow and love you.