Saturday, October 18, 2014

critics, blah...

Response to a critic

I spent so much of my life being lied to, believing the enemy, thinking it was my fault that I had to struggle. I was blessed with some great believers and teachers, but I still (mis)read between the lines that it was all my fault and I was a failure. No matter how much I prayed, read, or served, I felt if I was sad or scared or had panic attacks that I was to blame.
I've been God-chaser, a worthiness-chaser, and an acceptance-chaser. But I've also been so deep in darkness that I couldn't see tomorrow.
I guess what I'm saying is I'm a little defensive when it comes to issues of anxiety and depression. I wish someone would have told me when I was 16 that it wasn't my fault and I was still loved beyond belief. I wish someone would have told me that when I was 20, or even now. To feel that I'm not at fault would be amazing. I hope I get there someday.
I get that I don't know you, but I know that people who hurt will read into things a lot. This post felt harsh to me. Blaming. I replied because I thought someone who was struggling might find these words hard.

Yes, God is...well, God. And he can and will do whatever he jolly-well pleases (to quote R. Richards). Sometimes he fixes things, sometimes he teaches us things, sometimes he wants us to fight. But I truly don't feel that he enjoys when we are in pain, or lonely, or feeling blamed. And from everything I've learned, we should offer love instead of criticism and higher-than-thou lessons

My point is: people are hurting. People read, listen to, and respect you.  Love first. Accept those struggling. Offer acceptance, ENCOURAGE, LOVE. Then teach.

1 comment:

  1. Indeed.
    I'm sorry that you've went through what you did. I will pray for you.